Tracy's Nest

Friday, January 19, 2007

Feeling sooooo tensed

I haven't felt sooooooo tensed as what I'm experiencing now. I worry and worry and worry and there are a lot of things in my mind lately. Do mommies whose kids who are going to school have the same tensed feeling?

Some of u might have guessed rite. It happened since Destinee entered kindy the past 3 weeks. I've been calling her class teacher 3 times since Des started school (so far once every week) to know how Des was progressing *geks*.

We have to sleep early which I'm really not used to. We used to sleep at about 12 midnite and sometimes at 1 a.m. cos I usually bring my work back from office but now we have to go to bed at about 10 p.m., the latest by 10.30 p.m., so far no late exceptional cases. Not only dat, I have to get up early in the morning at about 7 a.m. (I used to get up at 8.30 a.m.). One thing good about Des is dat she'll immediately get up once I wake her and yes WITHOUT any fuss. If there's something good, there's bound to be something bad – one thing bad is dat she has to watch T.V. (her favourite POCOYO on Astrol Channel 63) while getting ready (drinks her milo or cereal or milk and changing) in which I don't mind as long as she doesn't put on a 'struggle' (refusing this and dat) in getting ready.

The 1st few days were not too pleasing cos she did refuse to go to school. On the 2nd day, she told me she cried in class and when I asked her why, she told me a 'kor kor' took her book. I called the class teacher and she explained to me dat the boy doesn't know how to read his name and accidentally took Des's book. The teacher did ask the boy to apologise to Des. Okay, I accepted the explanation.

One day during the 2nd week of school, Des brought back an exercise book in which I need to fill our (Pappy and mine) particulars (name, address, h/p no.) and there was the name and phone of Des's class teacher written in it too. I asked Des what the book was for but Des didn't seem to understand why she had brought the book back. I called her teacher and she told me the exercise book acts as a communication between the school and the parents. I asked her how Des was in class and I was informed Des was doing fine (gee, was I happy to hear dat).

Another day, when I was in the office, I called Des (I call her everyday when she's back from school, *blek*) and she told me she cried in class again. *Gaks!* I asked her why, she said she misses Mommy, Pappy and Kakak. Gosh! Oh dear, I've to call her class teacher again. Teacher Mary was very nice and explained to me dat Des wasn't crying but tears were overwhelming her eyes only (oh, dat's not crying eh?). I was told dat Des doesn't like to join kids who are a bit 'rough' and who are loud spoken. She told me there's another teacher teaching the class English and both she and the other teacher will take turns. The other teacher is a loud spoken lady in which Des is scared of and Des's always asking for Teacher Mary. Des is not very cooperative in interacting with the rest of the kids too. When the kids are singing and playing, she will stand at one end and keep watching only. *dead* I know this girl of mine too well. She's not warm up yet. I'm sure some of the bloggers know my girl doesn't like to mix and play at the beginning. Teacher Mary did advised Des dat she has to sing and play along with the other kids. I informed the teacher of Des 'weird' character and she said just give Des some time. Except for this, Des is fine with her writings and readings. I was really consoled by Teacher Mary's words. She's a very understanding and responsible teacher *keeping my fingers crossed*. Teacher Mary oso told me dat Des and a Malay girl will always stick together cos the Malay girl is oso small in size and she's soft spoken. The Malay girl likes her becos Des can speak Malay with her (heehee).

When I went home dat nite, I had a good talk with Des, advising her dat she needs to cooperate with the rest of her little friends a school and whenever there's music lesson, she needs to sing loudly. I assured her dat teacher will praise her for dat. The next day, Des told me she did sing loudly and sang along with her other friends (Yippeee!).

I wonder why Des was given so much homework everyday. Do other kindies give much homework too? *wondering* Des is not the one getting stressed about this, MOMMY IS THE ONE! At work, I worry what and how much homework she has and I will call her everyday whether there's homework or not and I will ask my maid to help my girl out and I will finish guiding her with whatever she has not finished when I go home. There are colouring, writings in Chinese, English and Bahasa. Reading her school books, I will read with her in bed before she goes to sleep. And sometimes I've to read her stories (in which she loves to listen and I've been doing this since she was in her baby days) before sleeping so as to reward her for being a good girl and finishing her homework. Phew! there's so much to do every day and I feel my high blood pressure 'shooting' up and I'm tiring out!

Sometimes when Des brings her books back, I don't know if ALL the work must be finished cos some of the pages were marked in red 'HW' (Homework) or 'RK' (Rumah Kerja) but some were not marked but the work has been done half way in class, so, need she finish them at home? I usually make her finish ALL the work, just in case. If she's in a good mood, she'll finish her homework very fast but when she's not in the mood, she'll not only dilly dally and giving all sorts of excuses, she'll simply scribble until which I've to praise her, 'bride' her to finish and do her work properly. Am I pressuring my girl? I don't need my girl to be a genius but as long as she follows and understands, I'll be sooooo thankful.

I always wonder how the kids who can't write and read well going to cope with the heavy workload of homework. I'm not saying dat my girl can write and read well but I've observed a few kids in Des's class who are just starting to read (ABCs) and Teacher Mary did tell me dat some cannot even hold the pencils properly. How?

Today, there's Chinese spelling test!
*dead* The words are not too difficult to write but still ..... can she remember and can she write what I've revised with her? *duh* Looks at if I'm the one going back to school! *double duh*

Other mommies whom I know who are feeling the pressure of kids going to school are Mott ; Jess ; Desperatemummy ; LaundryAmah

Getting her registered in Primary school is another tensed matter. Chinese or Kebangsaan school? Pappy and I have been debating since 2 years ago. I want my girl to go to a Kebangsaan school and Pappy wants her to go to a Chinese school. Sorry to say I don't know Chinese (I can even get the dots and strokes wrong), how to teach my girl? Don't expect Pappy to have the time to sit down and teach her – no way! Pappy did analyse dat the usage of Chinese language will be in great demand in future (really?).

I'm oredi so tensed now, what if Des is going to Primary, Secondary, College ........??? *dead, dead, dead*. Need to go somewhere to shout out loud otherwise my whole head will be filled with 'uban' (grey hair) and I need some air to breathe.


updated 5.44 p.m:
Just read LaundryAmah's post on her Kieran's homework. Gosh oh Gosh! 10 pages of homework from a Chinese school and the boy is only 7 years old! I'm really going to have 2nd thoughts and going to 'brainwash' Pappy from sending Des to a Chinese school! Do Kebangsaan schools 'pressure' kids with so much homework? Can someone out there enlighten me?


At Fri Jan 19, 03:20:00 PM, Blogger Jesslyn said...

Spelling? are u sure? lagi pressure school !

Wien has hw too but all simple wan la, sometimes got 3 pages. I still can accept the teacher's style so far.

My tense now is she sleep very little. Sleep at 11pm ++ ,then wake up at 5.30am++. After wake up, come to my room and wake me up! -fainted-

You dun pressure yourself la, Des can adapt slowly wan.

At Fri Jan 19, 04:15:00 PM, Blogger Sasha said...

*sigh* same prob with niece last time. Homework and Exams when she is only like 4 yrs old. So tensed!

At Fri Jan 19, 04:52:00 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

wahlau, i see the word PRESSURE everywhere now lar, urs lr, mott lar, desperate mommy, lotsa more lar... all because of kid go school...
hear also i sked sked... lucky rachel still young... but i so understand how you feel, and i do don't want to reach that stage so fast!!!!!

At Fri Jan 19, 06:59:00 PM, Blogger Jessie Woo said...

Dear Tracy

I have experiencing the same thing!!

Having hard time just to get her to sleep at night -.-" she will go on saying "mummy, i read books 1st, mummy, i watch cartoon yeah for awhile only" and the list just go on .. *fainted*

Jessie @ Mummy of 2 Princessess

At Sat Jan 20, 05:31:00 AM, Blogger jazzmint said...

aiyoo..u sound so stress lerr..relax a bit ok, i think des is doing well, but the homework, why so much work one???

At Sat Jan 20, 09:20:00 AM, Blogger Tracy said...

Yup, Des had spelling test. No doubt it was just a simple test but still what do u expect from a 5 year kid and it was just the few days of school.

Ya lor hor, how come kids are so pressurised with work these days. During my time, I was still playing around and enjoying myself but now not only kids are under pressure, PARENTS TOO!

Time has really changed, kids are so smart these days not like what I used to be – still blur blur when I was 3-6 years old.

No worries, no need to fear, Rachel is still so small, enjoy the time with her now.

Thanks for visiting my blog.

I noticed dat Jasmine is 5 years old too. *Hi five* So we should have lots to 'blah'.

It's the same situation with my girl (before going to bed), she has lots of excuses too.

Frankly, I really do feel the stress from Sunday nites till Friday mornings. I am, I am, I am trying to loosen up these days. I'm not going to pressure myself to force her to finish her work if she can't.

At Sat Jan 20, 11:40:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, relax, dont pressure yourself so much.
I experience the same when that time I sent Adrian to nursery too, itelyu I call his teacher 3x a day, u can imagine or not?
Now he was in 4years old class, too have homework, unless 3yrs old class, he too learn computer...but I found he enjoy so much when he doing his homework, he will tell me what happen in school, teach me computer which he learn from see, believe their ability, they can make it..
Adrian even have tuition class on Saturday...

At Sat Jan 20, 12:40:00 PM, Anonymous milly said...

tracy, spelling? 5 years old? and now just the 3rd week?? my kindergarten only 6 years old have spelling on the 9th week o...

my own opinion lar, if you really want Des learn something at that kindergarten, you really should close 1 eye, open 1 eye.. well..i told you before, that school is their level is higher than normal...they have their own teaching system, which they think can produce a good quality of student...

erm.. dont pressure yourself too much. about the primary school, no offence. from what i observe, kebangsaan school student can't catch up during the secondary school, and college. they are slow abit.

At Sat Jan 20, 12:41:00 PM, Anonymous milly said...

tracy, spelling? 5 years old? and now just the 3rd week?? my kindergarten only 6 years old have spelling on the 9th week o...

my own opinion lar, if you really want Des learn something at that kindergarten, you really should close 1 eye, open 1 eye.. well..i told you before, that school is their level is higher than normal...they have their own teaching system, which they think can produce a good quality of student...

erm.. dont pressure yourself too much. about the primary school, no offence. from what i observe, kebangsaan school student can't catch up during the secondary school, and college. they are slow abit.

At Sat Jan 20, 02:01:00 PM, Blogger Tracy said...

Everybody's telling me to relax. I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying. I'll try to relax and not put too much pressure on myself and Des. I guess I worry too much so much so dat I'm having nitemares about Des not able to finish her homework. *blek*

My girl is slow at writing and always 'dragging', dat's why she has to do her homework until nite time. "sei mou"

Ya ya, Chinese spelling test but quite simple ones so Des was able to manage.

Hopefully Des will be able to cope with their high standard. I was informed dat after studying in their kindy, the pupils will have no problems when they enter primary 1 *keeping my fingers crossed*.

Errr... Milly, u mean pupils from the Chinese primary schools cannot catch up with their studies when they enter secondary?

At Sat Jan 20, 05:31:00 PM, Anonymous jefferene said...

Why you so stress ah?

I can't imagine a 5 years old kid need to take the spelling test!

My girl doesn't have any homework and book, she only bring back one message book with teacher's message every Friday. I had never call and speak to the teacher yet (bad mommy, maybe will talk to her next week to ccheck her progress.

Relax ya, mummy Tracy!

At Sat Jan 20, 06:36:00 PM, Anonymous mott said...


Chinese spelling test? Aiyo! Don't stress out la. If u stress out, she'll pick up on it..then everyone sure stress one! I was in Kebangsaan..but I was very slack. My cousins in Chinese school...VERY hardworking. NOW...same status leh..All got degree...all happy lah! HA HA HA!!!! Now..i'm rethinking my decision to go to Chinese school..after all this!

At Sat Jan 20, 11:40:00 PM, Blogger Desperate Mummy said...

I heard Kebangsaan school also not very good cos nowadays they teach by using English and the English is from BM translate to English :(

At Sun Jan 21, 09:52:00 PM, Blogger Tracy said...

I don't understand why I'm so stressed leh. Maybe it's just dat I'm being too 'kiasu' and too protective of Des kua.


I hope I haven't 'poured cold water' over ur decision of sending Jin Ren to a Chinese school. Soooo sorry.

Desperate Mummy
I do notice dat the English language in a Kebangsaan school is so so so much different compared to my days. The English standard in those days is very much better compared to nowadays. And I've heard dat the teachers in Kebangsaan schools are quite lazy too (I don't mean any offence).

Going to an English school nowadays is like going to a Malay school - most of the subjects are taught in Malay (dat's why the gufmen added the name Kebangsaan o the school's name).

I'm sure dat is why most parents are sending their kids to a Chinese school in which they can learn an extra language.

At Mon Jan 22, 11:16:00 AM, Blogger Jessie Woo said...

Myself is from Sek Keb, and i wanna tell all the mummy out ther.. do send the kid to chinese school (if u r chinese la) coz i really have so much difficulty when i grew up and even now :(

No karaoke though i love to sing coz i cant READ .. is very charm wan le .. but i m slowly learning now along with Jasmine .. wish me lucks yeah !!


At Mon Jan 22, 11:42:00 AM, Blogger Tracy said...

*shake hand, shake hand* Haiyo, me too leh. I love to sing Mandarin and Cantonese songs but tak tau and every time just sit there and listen to my frens sing only ... sigh ....

At Mon Jan 22, 12:49:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Need to add up to Jessie comment.
I totally agreed, as myself oso from mandarin is worse and I need to speak it everyday with Singaporean, China ppl and Taiwan ppl, can u imagine how difficults it is? Sometimes I really feel embarrasing, once when I was in US, I been call 'banana man' chinese but dunno speak/read/write chinese..
Now I cant speak, but dunno the person who listen can fully understand or not, I learn from magazines, chinese movies hehehee...

At Mon Jan 22, 12:58:00 PM, Blogger Grace said...

Hi Tracy,
Des only kindy and you already so stress. It's just beginning and give her sometime.

No doubt chinese school really got plenty of homework compare to kebangsaan coz more subjects.

My malay colleague send one of his son to chinese school, parent dont know chinese, lucky his son very independent and hardworking. He told me his other children cant catch up, if not he prefer send them to chinese school.

If you want send Des to kebangsaan school, you can arrange chinese tuition for her.

At Mon Jan 22, 01:21:00 PM, Blogger Tracy said...

So, it is advisable to send our kids to Chinese school lor? Once I've made my decision, I hope I won't regret.

Welcome to my blog.

Ya, ya, I noticed dat the Malays and Indians are sending their kids to Chinese schools.

I really hope Des will be able to cope with so many subjects.

My mom used to send me to Chinese tuition classes too but I was not at all interested but I've no regrets.

At Mon Jan 22, 04:16:00 PM, Blogger Annie said...

Tracy, the kindi that Des goes to is to good at preparing kids going to chinese school, cause they give plenty homework.... when they go std 1, they no problem lor. My boss told me wan. Her kids goes to CEC & Qdees. With CEC, kids are more outspoken - more westernised. While Qdees - more homework. Her daughter (now std 5) went to CEC at 5 then Qdees at 6 - adapted very well in chinese school (one thing is the girl also very obedient lar). Her son (now std 3) went to CEC both years, can't adapt to chinese school. Cause the son likes to talk and ask a lot of questions and the teachers got irritated and punished him then ignored him totally (no homework given to him also). Chinese culture ma...din ask u to talk u are not suppose to talk lor!! My boss went to talk to the principal a few times to change class but the principal refused. So this year my boss transferred him to Kebangsaan school and he is very happy there. Less homework and there's a man teacher who is very patient to answer his questions. But then the std in Kebangsaan is rather low compared to Chinese school. Her son said that all the subjects in Kebangsaan so easy one, especially the math. So he is now having a good time there.

As for my girl, so far...very little homework oni wor. Her homework is half page oni! and she doesn't have homework every day... So far 3 homework oni - means 1.5 page oni... no pressure yet! I am planning to send my daughter to Chinese school. I want her to master some Mandarin lor. Mandarin beautiful language mar...I quarter pail oni. If she really can't cope then change to Kebangsaan lor, but that has to be before std 4.

At Mon Jan 22, 04:45:00 PM, Blogger Tracy said...

Wow! Annie, u really made my day! I heard about dat too –the kindy teaches the kids to be well prepared for primary 1.

My girl has homework EVERYDAY – Writing in English and BM, colouring, Chinese and maths on alternate days - whereas her 'best' fren who's in another kindy doesn't have much homework.

Alamak, what school did ur boss send her son to? How can the teacher be like dat? I really hate teachers who pick on pupils. I have a fren who had this problem too cos his son is very talkative and the teacher always picked on him. She later transferred her son to another school where he was happy too. The school is quite well-known too leh - the one in Jln. Sungei Besi starting with T one.

I think if I were to send Des to a Chinese school, I'll send her to a not so well-known one cos I heard the well-known ones are always asking for donations and the attitude of some of the teachers not very good too.

At Wed Jan 24, 11:24:00 AM, Anonymous michelle said...

Yes, my son also kena spelling, everyday he is getting egg home. I will not stress myself. I am looking for books to teach my son spelling in a creative way.

At Wed Jan 24, 02:31:00 PM, Blogger Tracy said...

Wah! So u don't need to buy eggs lor. Soli, soli, kidding only.

I'm trying not to be so stressed too. I called the teacher the other day (again) and she told me Des is progressing very well. She told me dat a majority of the students need to stay back to do extra 'brushing up' whereas Des's one of the students who need not stay back. I was so relieved cos all the while I thought Des was not doing well.

Another thing is dat Des's a very timid girl and scared of everything and dat's what worrying me. The teacher did tell me once dat when everyone is singing, she'll stay at one end and just keep watching her frens sing. In front of her frens, she dared not read out loud but when she's alone with the teacher, she dared .... sigh ...

It's true dat I do want her to do her best. Do u think I'm pressuring her?

At Thu Jan 25, 10:23:00 AM, Blogger Allyfeel said...

Goodness, how come got so much homework one? Reading your post arr...makes me stress abit also la...

I think Des will get use to it. Just give her some time. And tracy, remember to breath in more n relax a bit yeah.

At Thu Jan 25, 01:54:00 PM, Blogger Tracy said...

Alamak, I made u stressed too. Very soli.

These few days, her homework has lessen cos according to the teacher, some of the kids are not able to catch up so they have to slow down. Dat was a relief to me. Heehee, I'm able to breathe normally now.

At Thu Jan 25, 07:18:00 PM, Anonymous mybabybay said...

Tracy: Tim is also timid like Des. Until now also he dare not open mouth in school. He also dislike ppl telling him he is wrong. *sigh*

Give her more time, I think she will progress.

At Mon Jan 29, 10:03:00 AM, Blogger Jessie Woo said...

Now everyone Take A Deep Breath ... "phew" issitnit feeling so much better hehe

Guess we all are too panic adi ... hahaha now lets relax and enjoy our children progress yeah ..


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